Holiday season is upon us, and it seems to be the second-most popular time to be pressured into having a date or Significant Other, whether it be for Thanksgiving and other family get-togethers, for Christmas parties, for New Year’s, etc. (The most popular, of course, is wedding season.)
For me, however, the annual headache of divvying up my time among my parents’ families, stepfamilies, friends, and so on, makes me think, “How do married/serious couples do it?” There’s always the debate of whether to spend Christmas or Thanksgiving at his family’s or her family’s, or somewhere else entirely. Double the stress if there are divorced parents who have remarried, creating several families for each spouse/partner.
This got me thinking how happy I am to be single and not have to worry about in-laws. It naturally followed that I started thinking of other reasons why I’m glad to be single. Here’s what I have so far, in no particular order:
1. No divvying up visits between more families (and it’s hard enough for me to see family, step-family, and “unofficially adopted” family)
2. No in-laws to worry about any time of the year
3. Don’t have to worry about another person’s nutritional wants/needs. I can make all my meals to my own specifications, and no one else’s.
4. No need to be concerned about kids—having, raising, etc.
5. Ogling guys with zero guilt (unless they are engaged or married)
6. My paycheck is my responsibility. Although this is half-blessing, half-curse, as I’m not a fan of budgeting. But I am a big fan of personal responsibility and having sole possession over the fruits of my labors that the IRS deigns to permit me to keep.
7. I get to decide where I go on vacation!
8. I really do enjoy my solo activities. Although I don’t like cocktail parties or going out to eat by myself (unless it’s Panera and I have my laptop), I do enjoy going to movies and museums alone.
9. If I ever decided to get a pet, I could get whatever I wanted. But judging from my less-than-stellar ability to keep houseplants alive, I probably should avoid any responsibility for the well-being of another living creature.
10. I have the freedom to move residences and towns and experiment with my life and job without having to be concerned about how it affects a romantic relationship.
11. Freedom to learn about myself and get to know myself as a person.
12. Time, space, freedom, etc. to build up and explore my relationship with God.
13. No worries about abandoning girlfriends or disappearing from everyone’s radar because I’m in a relationship. (Seriously, why does this happen?)
14. No risk of making anyone feel squicked out by our PDA. (Again, why does this need to happen?)
I may add more to this list as things come to me. But I thought I should post it now, since I’m not sure if there will be a Friday Frivolity this week, as I will be out of town for Thanksgiving and Internet access will be limited. If that is the case, have a wonderful holiday to our American readers, and I wish a wonderful week on everyone!
Amen!
I totally hear you, Emily. Interesting thing though, with my marriage– I’m oldest of six, but my wife is the only child of a single mother. And even though my MIL lives in Philadelphia, about 15 minutes’ drive from us, she is frighteningly (well, not really, but it’s fun to say) low-maintenance. I would be slightly tempted to feel guilty about us not coming over to her place for holidays, but– she lives in an efficiency apartment. That is pretty cluttered. And she declines, more often than not, to join us at my parents’ house for the typical 20-24 person gathering. So– no hard choices for us!
I can’t resist commenting on a few of your 14 reasons:
#7: Oh yeah. Very much so. One of the few things I consider to have sacrificed by getting married.
#11: You’d be surprised how much you learn about yourself (a lot of it bad, in the beginning, but it gets better if you stick it out) when you’re married. But I hear what you’re saying.
#12: Yeah. Especially time. And freedom. Space, not such a big deal for me personally.
#13: See #12.
#14: Don’t do this so much.
Oh, I don’t intend on actually doing #14. That frustrates me to no end. I am just a little afraid it might sneak up on me.
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